If there’s one thing the Trump administration excels at, it’s turning economic self-sabotage into a spectacle worthy of a Vegas residency. Behind the curtain of boasts about “booming numbers” and “the greatest economy ever,” lies a slow, grinding unraveling that economists might one day use as the case study for “How to Mismanage a Superpower.”
Let’s start with tourism. Once upon a time, foreign visitors came to the U.S. to live the dream—snap selfies in Times Square, buy miniature Statue of Liberty figurines, and spend obscene amounts of money on airport lattes. But thanks to Trump’s “America First, Tourists Last” strategy—complete with travel bans, visa nightmares, and a frosty welcome—the United States is fast becoming less vacation destination and more international cautionary tale.
Foreign tourism, which had been helping local economies bounce back post-COVID, is now sputtering. Why? Rising global tensions, a more hostile border atmosphere, and general geopolitical messiness. The result: a massive $6 billion blow to the U.S. economy, which Trump casually dismissed as “not a big deal.” Because why worry about billions when there’s a rally to plan?
Take Curtis Allen, a Canadian videographer who used to road-trip through Oregon. But after Trump slapped tariffs on Canada and casually suggested annexing it as the 51st state, Allen and his partner decided they’d rather explore British Columbia. Their money? Staying north. Allen even ditched his Netflix subscription and now double-checks product labels to avoid anything Made in the USA.
“It takes us longer to shop,” he said, “but at least we’re not funding nonsense.”
Trade policy isn’t faring much better. Picture a toddler in a toy store who starts hurling Legos at other kids and is shocked when they throw them back. That’s basically the Trump approach to tariffs. The administration slapped duties on imports to “win” a trade war, only to be met with retaliation. Now farmers are sitting on unsold soybeans, manufacturers are hurting, and everyone’s paying more for basic goods. Socks shouldn’t cost more because of political cosplay, but here we are.
And then there’s immigration—Trump’s favorite punching bag. In a bid to “protect American jobs,” the administration slashed worker visa programs and closed doors across industries. The result? Farms can’t harvest crops, tech companies can’t hire engineers, and construction sites are ghost towns—not because people don’t want to work, but because there literally aren’t enough workers. Shrinking the labor force and acting confused when productivity plummets? Brilliant.
Meanwhile, on the world stage, America’s reputation is starting to look like a prom king who peaked in high school. Traditional allies are distancing themselves, trade partners are slapping back with sanctions, and foreign investors are seriously considering whether the U.S. is worth the headache. Spoiler: they’re leaning toward “no.”
So what do we get? A weakened tourism sector, chaotic trade strategy, a stifled labor market, and deteriorating international standing—all while the White House insists everything is “tremendous.”
The reality? Somewhere, a gold-plated calculator is quietly sobbing.
But don’t worry. When things go south, there’s always someone else to blame: China, immigrants, the Fed, the media, wind turbines. Take your pick—just don’t point fingers at the guy grinning in a red tie, holding the economy like a matchstick near a gas tank.
Welcome to Trump’s version of a thriving economy: one part circus, one part reality TV, and absolutely no responsible adults in sight.
